


Never Letting Go

by voasshekh



Category: dan and phil
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-18 19:14:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13106736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voasshekh/pseuds/voasshekh





	Never Letting Go

Phil walked down the hallway, hiding his hands in the long sleeves of his light pink jumper. He hated crowds, and all the attention that came from being an author of some of the most popular young adult books of the decade. Small meet ups were fine, but huge panels like the one he’d just sat through stressed him the hell out. The last thing to do that day was go to a concert for his favorite band, Dragonfire, and then he could go home and watch Pokemon.

He was so absorbed in his own thoughts, and trying to become part of the wall to avoid attention, that he didn’t notice the person running down the hall until he’d ran straight into him.

“Watch where the fuck you’re going!” yelled the man, about the same height as Phil but covered in tattoos over every inch of open skin aside from his face, but piercings in his lips, nose, and eyebrows to make up for it. 

Phil quickly jumped to the side, muttering a quick “sorry,” as the stranger kept running towards the bathrooms a short distance away. Phil watched silently as the man rushed to the bathrooms, yelling out “FUCK!” when he realized that they were occupied. Phil was about to keep walking when he noticed the man bury his face in his hands, clearly struggling to keep calm.

Realizing that this person was probably looking for somewhere private more than a bathroom, Phil followed him down the hall to help.

**

‘FUCK!” Dan yelled, so close to punching a wall but remembering what had happened the last time he did that with his rings on. He buried his face in his hands, hoping the hall was empty while he tried to settle himself down.

He had to be onstage in two hours to perform with his band, Dragonfire, and he was supposed to be getting ready, until he had a damn anxiety attack fighting through the crowd to get to the dressing rooms. It was all he could do to keep his composure together long enough to get away from people, and now the one place he might have found a little refuge.

He was interrupted from his inner monologue, however, by the touch of a cool hand onto his arm.

“The fuck?” he said, pulling his arm away and looking up at whoever was disturbing him. Recognition flooded his eyes when he realized that the person he’d yelled at minutes before for running into him, and the person beside him now, was his favorite author, the one he’d braved the crowd for just to see in a panel. 

He stared at the man for a moment, taking in his way-too-tight white skinny jeans and way-too-big pink jumper, all the way up to his flower crown, before words came to him.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, dammit,” he started, before getting cut off.

“Come with me,” Phil told him, pulling him down the hallway. Dan followed quickly, his brain running too fast with everything that was happening, his breathing getting faster as he could feel himself losing control. 

Phil pushed him into a small room, quickly introducing himself before pushing Dan’s shaking figure onto a couch. Dan had so many questions, but he was breathing too fast, and why the hell was he crying, and what was wrong with him, and-

“Hey, breathe for me, okay?” Phil kneeled in front of the couch, looking Dan in the eyes. “I get panic attacks too, just breathe, alright?” 

Dan tried to listen, doing his best to match Phil’s breaths with his own. He felt a cool hand wipe the tears from under his eyes, the other finding Dan’s hand. He leaned his head onto Phil’s shoulder, knowing he’d feel embarrassed later but at that moment not finding it in himself to care.

**

Phil moved to sit beside Dan on the couch, pulling him into a hug. “It’s alright, I’ve got you,” he told him, hoping to god he was helping. About the time that he’d gotten Dan into the room, he’d realized who he was talking to. As Dan was settling down, all he could think was oh my god, I’m talking to Dan freaking Howell. He quickly tucked the Dragonfire necklace he was wearing under his shirt while he reached to wipe more tears away from his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he heard a small voice say from his shoulder.

“It’s okay, Dan, I promise,” he replied, as Dan lifted his head off of his chest, seemingly okay now, or at least not full blown panicking. 

“How do you know my name?” Dan asked, not moving away from where he sat quite close to Phil.

Crap, Phil thought. “Um,” he stalled, trying to figure out how to not seem like a crazy obsessed fangirl. “I’ve seen your band,” he hoped that would suffice.

**

Dan nearly started panicking all over again when Phil said that he’d seen his band. Come on, his favorite author, not only there in person, but liking Dan’s music? 

“Oh, cool,” he smiled. At his small grin, Phil beamed.

“Did I actually manage to cheer you up?” 

“Yea, you did,” Dan smiled at Phil’s excitement.

“Yay!” Phil exclaimed, his hands naturally running over his necklace like they always did when he was excited, or nervous, or really just always.

Dan smirked when he noticed the necklace clutched in Phil’s hands. “Cool necklace,” he grinned at Phil’s shocked face.

“Crap, sorry, I promise I’m not insane,” he started rambling, until Dan cut him off with a smile and a wave of his hand.

“Phil, you’re fine, I promise. Look,” he said, pulling up the sleeve to his t shirt a bit and pointing at a quote among the swirls and designs inked over his arms.

Normalness leads to sadness, Phil read, squealing when his read one of his most famous quotes from his first book. 

“You’ve read my books!” Phil almost started jumping up and down, Dan just having to laugh at his reaction.

“Of course, they’re my favorite. I freaked out even more when I realised who you were,” Dan laughed.

The two men sat talking for half an hour, smiling the entire time, until Dan’s manager burst into the room.

“Dan, jesus! I’ve been looking for you everywhere, you’re on in an hour!”

“Shit,” Dan, got up, pulling Phil up to give him a hug. “Thank you,” he whispered into Phil’s ear, before pulling away. He started to follow his manager out, before running back to Phil.

“Quick, give me your phone,” Dan said, Phil pulling out and unlocking his phone quickly. He added himself as a contact, and shot a quick text off to his own phone so he’d know who it was. 

“Text me, for coffee sometime,” Dan explained, handing Phil his phone back. He looked over at his angry manager, who was staring at them and tapping the watch on her wrist.

“Get Phil in the front row, I’ll go get ready,” he told her, waiting for her nod of agreement before rushing off to get ready.

***

A week after they’d met, Dan and Phil went out for coffee. A month later, they’d made their relationship public. They were absolutely in love. Dan had been there through the release of Phil’s latest book, of course having been the first one to read it. Soon after, Dan had gone on tour with his band, bringing Phil along with him.

A year after they’d met, Dan was onstage at the last stop of his tour, more nervous than he’d ever been in his life.

“For the last song here, I want to invite a very special guest up on stage,” he called out to a screaming crowd. He grabbed the hand of a very confused Phil being led on by his fellow band members. The audience continued cheering as Dan pulled Phil to the middle of the stage.

“Phil Lester, you have been there for me through my best and my worse. You’ve made the longest days into the best days of my life, and I can’t think of anybody I’d rather have by my side.” He got down on one knee and pulled a ring out of his pocket as Phil started to cry. “Will you marry me?”

The crowd screamed so loudly that Dan could barely hear the “yes” Phil choked out through his tears. Dan stood up, slipping the ring onto his fiance’s finger and pulling him in for a kiss.

Stage lights flashed around them, and the band struck the opening chords for their next song. Dan pulled away, quickly whispering “I love you” in Phil’s ear before grabbing his mic. 

“This one’s for you, love,” Dan said, then began to sing, a melody he’d written just for the man whose blue eyes streamed tears of happiness next to him. Dan kept a hold on Phil’s hand through the song, because from now on there was no reason for him to ever let him go.


End file.
